Alright since the closing date of the writing competition in school is in 2 hours time, i shall post my competition piece here coz no one can steal it now.
Anyway here it is. "The Lost Smile". I don't care if you think it's messy or anything. Just read it. Also i'd like to note that the character in this story is not me. It is a persona. So before you start insulting me for being an "emo-kid" or whatever the hell those things are called, it is a persona. That also goes for you King lort if that is your real name,which of course it isn't.





The Lost Smile


I awoke to the dreamy tune of “Stardust” on my clock’s radio. Staring up at the light on my ceiling I wished I had not wakened. Today was the day. That dreaded day that my partner in crime, comrade, amigo and any other term you could use to describe a great friend, would leave for another country. I couldn’t remember which one. All that really mattered was that she was leaving. Wrenching myself out of my duvet’s warm embrace I stumbled into the bathroom, ignoring the throbbing headache from the night before. The mirror beheld a face of void. My eyes had no more wonder behind their green hue, my face was fixed and as much as I tried, my smile could not be found. Even the hot shower felt as cold as ice. Moving from my daily procedures was almost mechanical as I dried myself with my towel and then got dressed into a shirt and a pair of jeans which my hands had automatically picked out. There was too much to think about to even be hungry. Still I reached for the three day old pasta in a blue airtight container. “You should take better care of yourself. I’ll cook some proper food for you.” I could remember those words she told me the first time she visited the cave I call my apartment. Her name was Tiffany. We met on our first year of University in Japan. Both of us were in the school of art and it wasn’t long before we got to know each other. They say artist’s either get along very well or end up hating each other to the core. I’d like to think we were the former. I couldn’t relate to anyone in the class. They all seemed too caught up with being artsy all the time that they forgot to be what they really were, students in a college of the arts. Not art in a college of students. Tiffany was different. Each day with her was magical. She would treat every aspect of me like they were significant parts of the universe. Though she treated everyone the same way, you couldn’t help but feel special when you looked into those innocent dust-grey eyes. Tiffany was more than you could ever ask for in a friend. She was someone who cared for things you would normally shrug off, someone who would wait hours for you to complete a sculpture just to give you pointers on how to shape it better and someone who would be there to offer a friendly pat on the back or a hug after a harsh criticism on your work. The 3 years would have been a living hell without her. She was what got me to rise from bed everyday, to draw, to paint, to sculpt and to live. My muse. And now she’s leaving. Sometimes I wonder if I could have loved her past the boundaries of friendship but it all seemed a distant memory. The noodles were cold and stale and had lost its flavour a long time ago. My phone vibrated noisily bringing me out of my blank state of mind. I answered, still with the coarseness of my morning voice. It was her on the other end of the line. Still with her ever cheerful and chirpy voice, wishing me a splendid morning as she had done the past semesters. She told me to meet her on Shinei hill. It was just a few blocks from the campus. We used to spend those carefree freshman and sophomore years in the abandoned and ruined playground on one of its terraces. As ridiculous as it sounds for two twenty year olds to be spending their days in a playground, it was our escape from the stress that piled upon our backs, almost to breaking point sometimes. You could see the entire city from it. A view of the fence of high rise apartments against the backdrop of the blue marquee that spread all the way to the horizon. I said I would meet her there as soon as I could. She hung up after saying the word which I had dreaded to hear for so long, “bye”. I found a spot in the mess of my refrigerator for the pasta and put it back on the mesh shelf. Reaching between the couch cushions I pulled out my car keys and headed for the door, wiping away bits of sauce that stained the stubble around my mouth. My trusty Chevrolet was waiting for me in the car park. It had only broken down four times in the year so far and it only took three tries to get it started. The barrier rose slowly as I exited and I checked myself in the rear view mirror. My eyes were still vacant and my brows, still hovering motionlessly over them. I did not know what to expect. It was going to be our last day together on that hill for God knows how long. I wondered if I would see her again after all this was done. Thoughts began to flood my head until I turned on the car radio. The music seemed like noise but at least it eased my bursting mind. Shielding my eyes from the afternoon sun I sped away before realizing that I was supposed to go in the other direction.

I drove through the streets, passing the roadside cafes we used to go to. She said it felt like a Parisian diner complete with the checked tablecloths sprinkled with the hard crumbs of a baguette. The ice cream parlor was not too far from it. That was where we wondered if we could paint using only the colours of the rainbow swirl. Then came the stain glass windows of the florist. I could recall how we would buy a trunk load of roses on Valentine’s Day and give them out to everyone and anyone back at the university. I would always leave one for her, tucked silently into her sling bag. It was almost a relief to reach the end of that street. Too many memories in the span of a minute can hurt. The sakuras were in blossom, littering the park paths with pink snow. A beautiful sight as it was always. Tiffany loved those trees and every spring she would frolic in the park, often showering herself with the blushing petals. It was but ephemeral beauty however. Gone before you can fully enjoy its splendour. How delightfully apt it was for my situation. I parked my car opposite from the hill and crossed the road, not taking notice of the horns that blared at me. Each step up the finely carved stone stairway had a past behind it. Moss had grown fat on its edges and I had trouble keeping my balance as I made my way up. It took about fifteen minutes of running along the spiral path to reach the playground’s terrace. She had not arrived yet but it was not strange of her to be late at times. I lay down on the broken slide and let my shoes dig into the sand. The sun was filtering through the canopy of trees that shaded the terrace. The bustle of the city was apparent almost everywhere as I looked down onto it. There was like an invisible wall that separated this quaint place from the chaos that took place beyond it. It was quite obvious why the playground was abandoned as I walked up to the tiny barricade that was right before a steep drop right down to the floor. A comforting hand touched my back. In shock I turned around to be greeted with a smile from Tiffany who had just made her way up. I tried to smile back at her but I could only force the sides of my mouth to angle upwards ever so slightly. Her grey eyes were as captivating as ever and the beams of light gave her silk like brown hair a faint golden shade. She wore her favourite white dress complete with orange linings, reminding me of the time I had accidentally spilled wine all over it during a Hanami festival. Still she didn’t hold it against me. She looked at me with a sunny glow and handed me a can of apple soda. I accepted it gratefully, thanking her as we both sat down on the balance beam. “If I could stay, I would. You know that.” She said, noticing my distinct look of gloominess.
“And I would go with you if I could.” I replied.
I don’t know if you could call it heartache or anything. All I know is that my chest felt like a furnace filled with paraffin and brandy. I looked into her eyes once again, in disbelief. It seemed so unreal that the hands that comforted me and the voice that motivated me would disappear from my life in a matter of a day. Her face never showed a trace of sorrow but this time it wasn’t showing cheeriness either. We talked like we used to. Of many things past, present and future. We once again remembered those summer nights we would lay up on the roof of her house just gazing at the specks of light on the black felt sky. She told me that she wanted to become a concept artist for films and video games once she moved to the United States. I didn’t know what I wanted to be in the time to come. It all seemed so unimportant at this point. My art felt like doodles on scrap paper and my sculptures like play-dough figurines. I couldn’t see beyond the sunset because everything seemed like it would end right there. Still we talked, reminiscing as I fiddled with the empty soda can.

My watch gave a horrible six beeps. Another hour till she would have to go. I walked up to the flimsy barricade and leaned against it, resting my head on my arms. The sun was slowly descending into the coral clouds beyond the last skyscraper. She walked up to join me. I guessed that she knew her time with me was soon to be up as well. I jumped slightly as I felt her arms slowly and gently wrap around my neck. Part of the inferno within me was cooled by her pleasant caress. Her delicate chin rested on my shoulder and her head leaned against mine. A warm tear rolled down her cheek and onto mine as we watched the sun fall slowly behind the buildings. I wished that life had a pause button. I could’ve stayed in that moment forever. I did not want her to let go and leave me to walk the campus alone. But of course, she had to. We stayed that way till the sun finally disappeared into the horizon. Tiffany kissed the back of my head and picked up her sling bag. The moment she let go, a cold wind shook me. She rubbed the last few tears out of her eyes and smiled at me again. That smile that had brightened my days for the last three years. That smile that I loved so much but never said a word. I hugged her and felt a tear of my own run down my face. I rubbed it away quickly and wished her the best. “I will be in touch. I always will.” She assured me as she readied herself to leave.
I had one last touch of her flawless face as she turned to leave, looking back every few steps. Watching with sighs as her Reeboks walked her out of my life; I hoped she would notice the rose I tucked away silently into her bag. Just like before. She vanished into the corner of the spiral pathway and I stood alone in the playground once again. Sitting on a spring mounted horse I watched as the last few rays of light folded back and made way for the dark of night. By now, Tiffany would have been at the airport, ready to board that aluminum falcon to carry her into the west. The more I thought of it, the more it began to sting. I walked down the path with my hands in my pockets, almost falling down a few times due to the slippery moss. The stairway did not make it any better. Strolling across the empty road again, back to my car, a white piece of paper was placed in between the wiper and the screen. “Great, a parking fine.” I thought to myself as I unfolded the paper.
It was not a fine after all. It turned out to be a note from Tiffany. “Goodbye doesn’t mean forever.” She wrote on it, complete with her signature smiley face at the corner of the paper.
They were lyrics from the famous song by David Gates. It sure would seem like forever without her though. I placed the note into my pocket and got into my car. The rear view mirror now showed a pair of eyes stained red with dolor. I started up the engine and began that quiet drive back to the apartment. Two children played with small fireworks in the park among the sakuras. Small red lanterns hung from the branches as they shone on the picnic mats on the ground. The cafes and the shops closed as everyone gathered under the cotton candy roof of the park. They were all smiling joyously. I would have spoiled the atmosphere if I had joined them, so I just kept on driving and arrived at the apartment. The dreary building I called home. I parked the car and headed back up and flung myself on the couch. Taking out the note that Tiffany had written, I read it again. I hoped with all my heart that it did not mean forever. She had left, taking with her that beautiful smile. And with her, my smile left as well. I had not realized it till that point, that Tiffany was my smile. The only person that brought me enough joy to create that expression. She was my driving force, my support and my source of happiness. Without her there would be no such thing as a smile anymore. I held the note tightly in my hand and went into my bedroom. The clock radio was still on. I had forgotten to turn it off. Over the airwaves James Ingram crooned, “Where did my heart go?”
It was a fitting song for the end of this day. I fell into the sheets, taking out a photo we had taken together during our sophomore year. I held it next to her note and lost myself in reverie once again. I would miss her sorely everyday from that night onwards. My smile seemed so far away from where I was. The song continued, “It’s going to take a while but I’ve got to learn to smile again.”
Just the thought of Tiffany now seemed to weigh my heart down, though just a few months ago it made it fly. I’ve never liked goodbyes but I guess that one day we will be this close again. Just like we were these few years. As I lay there, staring out the window before me, a display of fireworks exploded into hypnotic colours in the distance as a silver airplane climbed into the night sky. “Maybe I would learn to smile again soon. Just maybe…” I thought to myself as I watched the luminous explosions fill the black sky with incandescent rainbows.




- Kyle Ganapathy, 1T02

tired of people who cry coz they had 9 points instead of 6 whereas others got 16 and barely scraped into a school which they have an extremely high chance of being kicked out of.

tired of parents who scold their kids for getting 260 instead of 300 for their psle while others get below 200 and claw their way into the express stream.

Tired of people who set so high standards that the only thing the schools produce are total introverts that know nothing but of textbooks and readings.

Thinking it would be different in the arts stream, it isn't at all.

Tired of having what i thought was an insightful piece of work called superficial.

Tired of other people complaining about one or two f's when i almost had 5.

Tired of being inferior to everyone in the school. Can't I be good for once?

Tired.