A plea to God

Dear God,

I'm not one of your best children and I'm not very fillial either. I can be a punk sometimes and I can be a total rat at other times. And I'm probably one of your number one candidates to go to hell. Not to mention being a hypocrite and stuff. I know so far I've been a piece of dirt. So if you could do me a few last favours it would be these few.
Firstly, being the king of the world and all, you gotta have some power over me so would you please guide me to a better side of me. Y'know i don't wanna be this Kyle that I am right now. Because this Kyle kinda....isn't very good at all. In fact, he sucks. Sorry to use that kinda language in front of you. Forgive me. Please help me to change for the better. I'd like to go to heaven when I die y'know what I'm saying?
Secondly, please slap me in the face. Help me to put aside my fake ways and become the Kyle that I was meant to be when you created me from dust. For that I'd really need your help. Or i'd be dead. Really.
Thirdly, please help me to let go of things a little easier than before. It's like lord of the rings and all I gotta do is release my grip and let the ring fall into the lava but i just can't do it. I'm not asking to be unhurtable or anything but yeah...help me to stop lingering on things long after they've gone because it's not good for me and if it's not good for me then i'd start doing dumb stuff that in turn hurts your rules and stuff you know what i'm saying. Well you probably can read my mind so if i'm rambling i'm sure you know whats going on.
I really need your help man. I can't do this as a human dude. Humans are weak! No offense. Since you created us but even you'd agree that we are so weak minded. So help me to become a better Kyle than I am and ever was. For that i'd be eternally grateful. I'm sorry for not going to church for so long. Perhaps i should spend more time praying on sundays. Y'know like give you a little call now and then and see how things are doing up there. You know God, I imagine you as my main man. As my friend and as a cool dad. I don't know if its wrong to think of you as my friend and pal n all. And I really hope its not blasphemious. However you spell that. You're the king of my ring big G. Thanks.

-From your son and friend
Kyle Andrew Ganapathy


P.S -Please keep my friends safe and sound and take care of them. Please don't let them get any sicknesses and stuff and please protect em from accidents. Take care of Josh. I'm sure you know him, he practically spends half his week in church. Take care of Samuel. He's not someone you can find around the corner of 33rd street. Take care of Shane. He's cool, most of the time. Take care of Wei Jie, and please for his own sake, make him study for his prelims. Take care of Ying because she never ceases to brighten my day up. Or at least tries to. Take care of Rishik coz he's a lil conflicted, just like me and he's a cool dude and a pal too. And also, take care of the rest of the peeps I know. I'm sorry if i didn't mention you and stuff but you guys are all cool. I'd make a list but i don't wanna bore you all. Last but not least....please take care of Nadia. Y'know she's been a real friend for so long and i went and kinda spoiled it. A little. I spoil everything. I want everything to be cool again. I want us to be tight. I want all of us to be tight. Like those black guys ya see on tv. Take care of Nadia, God. And take care of everyone else. Take care of em first and then take care of me. Take care of my family too. Oh and please let my pizza be ready by the time I go down.





Hey thanks God! Triple cheese and pepperoni. Seeya later big G!




P.S- This is what the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.